Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
