It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
