I think i peed on brittanys purse
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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