the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
