In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
