if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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