He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize