my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
