on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
