is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
