I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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