Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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