She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
