Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
