tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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