i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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