There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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