my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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