I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
