No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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