worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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