the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
