should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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