uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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