Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
