wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize