question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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