i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
