How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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