VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
