And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Two words: nipple clamps
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