Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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