Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize