Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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