what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
