: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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