He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
