I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize