She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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