If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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