I'm drive I can fine osifer
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
