i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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