South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
