So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
