what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
