Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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