sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
