The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you would pick up someone in the library
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're like the curious george of whores
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
