I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Pooping to opera.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
