we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
