My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
