dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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