Non-Jews are for practice
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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