Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
