im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
